CONFESSIONS OF A JUNKIE
II
Well, It’s me again. Remember my woeful tale of addiction
last year? I thought I had it licked. It just goes to show you that you just
have to come clean, cold turkey and all that.
I used to have a great job. I made real good money. Then I was tempted.
All my friends were doing it and they seemed ok. It really looked like fun
so I tried it. Who would have thought that it would have been harmful? I am
still in disbelief. I started dabbling at it just for kicks. God only knows
when it happened but I began doing it all the time. I could barely stand to
go to work because I couldn’t do it there. After being fired for stabbing
a client in his hand with my paraphernalia in a freak accident I decided to
turn over a new leaf.
I went through a recovery program and got a new job, a new spouse (the first
one left me) and my family let me back into their home. Then I started watching
other people do it. I don’t know why but I got a kick out of that and
couldn’t seem to help myself. I played shortstop at the time for my
softball team and they kept catching me yelling numbers out loud that had
nothing to do with the game. It was really embarrassing. I should have gone
for help then. But I didn’t.
One day I was at Horan’s eating spicy chops and I looked down at my
plate and to my horror the pork chops were all cut up into tiny little pie
shapes!
As if possessed I began taking toothpicks and throwing them at the little
pie shapes. That was where I really lost it. The next thing I knew I was playing
a game in my head with 3 kings and a queen and they were pointing me. It was
a nightmare! I began dancing around like one of those funky munky’s
you see at the organ grinder’s show and just coz I was losing the toothpick
match and acting the way I was, I became unwanted, persona non grata at the
restaurant. I swear some people can be so uptight! Some old lady was eating
next to me and I guess I kept hitting her in the face with toothpicks as they
bounced off of my pork chop. Big deal.
So I give in. I have hung dartboards on all of my walls again and just accepted
the fact that I am a junkie. All my food gets cut again into little pie shapes
or I will not eat it and I am not ashamed! No one will hire me so I figure
my only chance is to get real good at darts so that I can maybe make a few
dollars at least for the dartboard. What the hell do those experts know anyway?
The new league begins Tuesday September 27th and in lays my salvation. I used
to have this real good friend we called R who loved to play darts. I need
one more person for my team this season. WhereforeartR when you need him?
Well, if you are ready to give it a try here is the number to my suppliers
708-366-8333 Just call them up and tell them you want to play the game.
Anonymous
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